tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41387972011-04-21T12:29:39.859-07:00The Epic of ToadboyLike, when you face a challenge and you have to like, choose? Between two choices? And you don't like, want to choose either one? That is like, terrible.alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comBlogger371100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-55961238225269578472007-08-15T19:13:00.000-07:002007-08-15T19:14:37.858-07:00Toadboy went to visit design studies.I'm not sure what he thought.alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-1058073028849734452003-07-12T22:10:00.000-07:002003-07-12T22:10:28.836-07:00Toadboy samples another poet's form* The Sorrow of Food Morsels of morning we eat you at dinner we eat you at lunchtime we eat you at night we eat and we eat We eat in the air there so you won't go so hungry I'm behind him he is walking He is holding it close to his body He is big in the shoulders. His food is small on his small plate. The food could be gold. The food could be a miracle. One alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-1057895575809335152003-07-10T20:52:00.000-07:002003-07-10T21:07:18.870-07:00Toadboy edits his poem The Sorrow of Food I'm behind him He is walking He is holding it close to his body. He is big in the shoulders. The food is small and precious. The food could be gold. The food could be a miracle. We are on the electric train. One sudden start and it could go flying. One trip up - a bag, a book, a shoe a bike tire in the way a day gone down the wrong path. Grandmother alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-1057766851255865742003-07-09T09:07:00.000-07:002003-07-09T09:07:31.253-07:00Toadboy works out a poem draft 1 The Sorrow of Food eating on the bus an old woman eating in a car -a small burger pinched, bun broken a young man with a cinnamon roll on the electric rail. I'm behind him. He is walking. The roll is on a small plate with a plastic fork and knife. He is holding it close to his body. He is big in the shoulders and in contrast the food is small and precious. alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-959962122003-06-24T15:54:00.000-07:002003-06-24T15:56:33.000-07:00The vow was rather obtuse, like a trick drawing. The ends seem to meet, but meeting is impossible in three dimensions. "Commitments are for strangers, I vow to meet them Desires are contemptable, I vow to love them Emotions are inscrutible, I vow to understand them Selfishness is understandable, I vow to not go there." Toaboy was napping in the sun. Toadboy was imposing sanctions on his alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-940865042003-05-09T19:50:00.000-07:002003-05-09T19:52:41.000-07:00"Give it time," the author says. "But nuba nuba dl;asdf;lkkhe. SHHHHHeeeeei..." Toadboy says, kind of flailing on the floor. (You must understand, sometimes it is difficult to write the character, especially in these times. The news, you know. The things that have been happening in the news are sometimes too much for those like me - sensitive types. Types that have an emotional connection alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-940854252003-05-09T19:21:00.000-07:002003-05-09T19:26:55.000-07:00Gravel kicks up from under Toadboy's tire as he pedals across the unfinished road. Up here about half of everything is paved, the rest is rutted and bumpy. If you're driving, go slow. The ruts are so deep you'll lose your tailpipe. Toadboy is nor-mal adj. a) free from disease, disorder, or malformation; specif., average in intelligence or development b) mentally sound. (function north alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-910975592003-03-20T18:30:00.000-08:002003-03-20T18:30:38.246-08:00Toadboy and Empty Buddha Girl pray for peace [link]alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-910971742003-03-20T18:22:00.000-08:002003-03-20T18:22:52.983-08:00The now emaciated Toadboy sat down under the sycamore tree seeking enlightenment.... (the author pauses. He's not sure this is the right story to be telling.) Empty Buddha Girl sits down under the shade of the tower in which she works, seeking enlightenment... (the author understands that Empty Buddha Girl is enlightened, as are the other characters, but that she does not seek enlightenment inalanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-910967272003-03-20T18:14:00.000-08:002003-03-20T18:14:22.186-08:00II.) THE FUTURE BUDDHA RECEIVING THE MILK-PORRIDGE OFFERED BY SUJATA[link]alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-902831642003-03-06T20:53:00.000-08:002003-03-06T21:04:20.000-08:00The Thinker orders some simple supplies: 1 Zafu Zabuton Set -----------$89.95 1 Gold Dragon altar cloth ------$12.95 1 Small 'singing bowl' ---------$59.95 1 Small Mokugyo --------------$29.95 1 Small altar -----------------$39.95 1 Seated Buddha statue --------$39.95 1 Incense bowl -----------------$11.95 and 1 Box of Incense ---------------$13.95 For a grand total of -----------------$298.60alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-901571702003-03-04T20:44:00.000-08:002003-03-04T20:45:05.000-08:00The thinker buys a straight razor so he can give up possessions. A monk owns a bowl, a razor, and a robe. Usually this means three bowls in a set, one razor, and three layers of robe - a summer robe, a robe that goes over this, and the outer robe, worn for ceremonies and in winter, or the rainy season, for warmth. The thinker promptly cuts his scalp, swears, and runs into the other room to alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-901566732003-03-04T20:34:00.000-08:002003-03-04T20:34:55.890-08:00Toadboy worries about justice "I wish we all had unalienable rights," Toadboy says. "Whaddya mean?" Empty Buddha Girl asks, spitting a too-hard seed onto the pavement outside the building where she cleans. "I mean, like, there's the idea that everyone is equal and we should all be able to pursue happiness, but on the other hand, only the best people should rise to the top." "In my English alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-898812762003-02-27T20:16:00.000-08:002003-02-27T20:21:44.000-08:00 Dear Toadboy, The job is kind of lame. I mean, it's OK, for a job. The guy who manages the cleaning crew is a real pain. He comes out of nowhere - comes right up behind you and says, "Better hurry up!" and when you turn around, he just walks off. It's like, "Why don't you polish the damn banister!" The guy literally does nothing but go around the building telling people to "Hurry up" and "alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-898121442003-02-26T18:44:00.000-08:002003-02-26T18:44:55.763-08:00Dear Empty Buddha Girl, Hey, that's so cool you got the job. This town has been so lame - like no one is hiring. It's just good to have something. Can you get overtime? I had this job at a hotel cleaning rooms. The boss said we could get overtime, but when we turned in our hours he would erase hours from our time sheets. And he was the most lazy guy I've ever met. Some people said he and alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-896455612003-02-24T07:06:00.000-08:002003-02-24T07:06:20.936-08:00Empty Buddha Girl gets work as a corporate janitor 1. Wipe down sinks in restrooms four times daily. "Tidiness" is the perception of clean. 2. Don't look other employees in the eye. 3. Keep janitorial equipment against the wall. 4. Be inconspicuous. No one should have to acknowledge you are there. 5. Work cheerfully. 6. Dedicate your work to the universe. It's not degrading if it helps alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-893964142003-02-19T15:52:00.000-08:002003-02-19T15:52:27.000-08:00Toadboy is in the process of "interrogating the question." Our (the audience's) question is, "is Toadboy 'interrogating the qestion' better or worse than the other characters?" or "Is 'interrogating the question' even worth while?" It seems to me (the character "the writer" - not the character known as "The Author" [the writer is one step closer in reality to the typist who is putting these alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-890762492003-02-13T21:51:00.000-08:002003-02-16T20:46:42.000-08:00Toadboy decides that the answer to the cultural question of "why the broken gender" can be found in "The Clue of the Broken Locket," in which Nancy Drew discovers the secret behind a phantom ship and a girl's lost identity/treasure. Toadboy applies Nancy Drew's deductive reasoning to the story: 1. Girls shouldn’t poke around in one another's affairs "I'm surprised at you. That girl's affairs alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-888031782003-02-09T08:54:00.000-08:002003-02-09T08:54:52.146-08:00Empty Buddha Girl is at a coffee shop studying the Tanakh. Toadboy is on a lonely walk through the industrial side of town. The Thinker is in a bookstore oggling saffron-robed monastics. He feels raw and alive. Things That Won't Happen in the Epic of Toadboy 1. Empty Buddha Girl will never become the melancholy type. 2. The Author will never relate the traits of a particular character alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-886570382003-02-06T09:34:00.000-08:002003-02-06T09:34:10.776-08:00Theravadan forest monastic practice is arguably the most rigorous form of monasticism that has reached the Western world. Monks who stay for a lifetime, vow to be celibate, never marry, are disallowed from handling money, riding in cars driven by the opposite sex, and eat one meal per day, among other rigors. These are the basic practices; nothing in contrast to the giving up of self in alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-885658782003-02-04T18:37:00.000-08:002003-02-04T18:37:10.616-08:00Toadboy has an odd sense of justice. "I want things to work for everyone all the time," he told The Thinker. "Things don't work that way," The Thinker said. "You would have to allow other people to adjust what you want to do and how you do, and be happy with it. You'd have to give them direct access and control over your desires." "I already do that," Toadboy said. "No you don't. No, you alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-883806022003-02-01T08:25:00.000-08:002003-02-01T08:25:35.373-08:00The Author is deeply concerned with sexuality. Sitting on his porch in Iowa City, Iowa, The Author considers the development of the characters. None of them are virgins currently (currently meaning all of them in college). Most of them were past that by their Junior year in high school, and one of the characters has abuse issues from his childhood, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-883654742003-01-31T21:43:00.000-08:002003-01-31T21:46:11.000-08:00Empty Buddha Girl could tell Mr. Bebe was gay from the first page in which he was described, and she wasn’t shy about telling her High School World Lit teacher all about it, even after being sent to the dean. “What is so wrong with saying the character is into guys?” she said. “I mean, E.M Forster…” That was that. Five days after school in the basement – in a room not dissimilar to the alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-883058482003-01-30T19:37:00.000-08:002004-12-19T09:08:19.136-08:00 Toadboy Continues his Journal on Reflecting Spheres [link] Black pigment absorbs all rays of light. White pigment reflects rays of light. A reflective cube reflects subtraction and addition equally. This table is a set of on-off switches. These cubes send on and off into the distance. On and off is a vibrant argument. Are we the cubes or are we the table or are we the table and the cubs alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-882437912003-01-29T18:52:00.000-08:002003-01-30T12:46:16.000-08:00Empty Buddha Girl [link] Empty Buddha Girl 2 [link] While she was in the eighth grade, Empty Buddha Girl's health instructor had made the mistake of leading the class in "guided relaxation." "Now I want you all," Mrs. Maxley said, her heels skittering on the tile as she crossed the room to extinguish the lights, "to lie on your back and relax." The health room was in the basement of the alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-881958192003-01-28T19:59:00.000-08:002003-01-30T09:55:27.000-08:00Toadboy Writes about Minimalist Art [link] Minimilist Art 2[link] I see two people. Two people are standing on horizontal stripes touching. They are face to face or joined at the hip. These people reflect. In light environments they shine. In dark environments they are shadowy and reclusive. These people turn the horizontal into vertical on their exterior. On the interior they turn the alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-881949452003-01-28T19:43:00.000-08:002003-01-28T19:43:22.530-08:00Toadboy on minimalist art. [link]( Photo to be added tomorrow.)alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-881402582003-01-27T21:14:00.000-08:002003-01-28T06:47:22.000-08:00Toadboy Dreams of Summer The city had reached that certain temperature – the one at which the biodegradable goo had begun to ferment*, the heat cooking out the liquids, commingling them with rubber from tires and tar from exhaust and roads, baking them into something both foul and special, something Toadboy could only identify as Home – by nine in the morning. They had told him when you smell alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-880788862003-01-26T20:36:00.000-08:002003-01-26T20:40:10.000-08:00The Characters in Their Own Words Toadboy - Journal entry 10-21-02 Candy. When you want candy you really want it. You want it no matter how much you eat. So it can be better to eat none - less frustrating. At least then you have a reason to want it. You can work to get to the reason for the want. That's how desire works. -toadboy The Thinker - Journal entry 10-29-02 We realize no onealanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-880604202003-01-26T12:59:00.000-08:002003-01-26T13:02:14.000-08:00On Authenticity You may be wondering whether or not you can relate to Toadboy and if so, how much. Toadboy does hold a job, but we don't hear about it much because he doesn't think about the job. He does the job. This may be his ultimate actuality. Right now I can't tell you what his job is, although I can say it is something like framing art, working in a copy store, serving coffee, or alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-880515672003-01-26T09:02:00.000-08:002003-01-26T09:08:23.000-08:00More important than himself or the Author, Toadboy wanted to understand Empty Buddha Girl. His first question: is she describable? "When Empty Buddha Girl makes a decision she moves forward with action. It's like, poetic." Toadboy scribbled in his notebook. The Author has to interject himself at this point, because this is just sad. "Toadboy has read way too much about the Buddhist concept alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-880077552003-01-25T07:56:00.000-08:002003-01-25T09:23:06.000-08:00Nishiwaki Junzaburo, [link] the Japanese poet who helped bring surrealism, and artistic modernism in general to Japan, attempted to create a platonic poetics during the 1920’s. This is fantastic, in that Plato didn’t like poets at all, kicking them out of his ideal world, the Republic. But, of course, this shouldn’t preclude poets from taking Plato’s ideas and messing with them. What Junzaburoalanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-879954952003-01-24T21:49:00.000-08:002003-01-28T20:08:45.000-08:00extracted textalanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-879942632003-01-24T21:13:00.000-08:002003-01-24T21:51:42.000-08:00A Praxis of Stillness or Why Nothing Happens in the Epic of Toadboy What do we really know about Toadboy? We can: Infer that Toadboy lives in a city. Any city that has a portion of sidewalk that isn’t poured cement, but rather brick laid end to end and uneven or crisscrossed. Or in a city that has places publicly defined for social gathering. Or in a city that has places that have been alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-879667162003-01-24T10:03:00.000-08:002003-01-24T10:03:51.710-08:00Toadboy has gone present tense. Toadboy combines Eastern and Western thought. Toadboy questions whether Western Doubt is really Western or actually everywhere, I mean look at Ballet. Just because the French codified a vocabulary of movement doesn't undercut the fact that the steps come from dances created around the world. "Schools of thought are a function of publishing - who claims the alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-879637092003-01-24T09:00:00.000-08:002003-01-24T09:00:14.463-08:00This was of great concern to Toadboy. He had to make a list. 1. The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew are aware of each other, but they keep a distance because of divergent world-views. 2. The Truth of each story is untold. There is no worldview large enough and small enough to encompass totality. 3. Most of the robbers, thieves and hoodlums the Hardy boys and Nancy Drew catch are flawed people alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4138797.post-879343552003-01-23T19:03:00.000-08:002003-01-23T19:12:44.000-08:00The Mystery of the Beginning and the End Written in the Style of the Hardy Boys Here is the surf scene Here is the beach scene Here is the crime scene Frank turns on his brother in jealousy Frank steps off the road into the forest Here is the jalopy. The boys fail science class but get the girl, no The boys solve the mystery The boys believe in nothing that is not in front of them. Here is alanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02896171295321725473noreply@blogger.com