Dear Toadboy,

The job is kind of lame. I mean, it's OK, for a job. The guy who manages the cleaning crew is a real pain. He comes out of nowhere - comes right up behind you and says, "Better hurry up!" and when you turn around, he just walks off.
It's like, "Why don't you polish the damn banister!" The guy literally does nothing but go around the building telling people to "Hurry up" and "Don't annoy the office people, they have important stuff to do." Like they are doing anything but pushing big garbage generators around that we have to clean up after. We are just the ass end of the trash machine. All I'm saying is the mouth is no less disgusting. All those office workers should get the hell out of my way. Maybe if they slowed down they wouldn't produce so much garbage."

So anyway, my break is around 11:30. Come by and we can have lunch

XOXO Empty Buddha Girl

Dear Empty Buddha Girl,

Hey, that's so cool you got the job. This town has been so lame - like no one is hiring. It's just good to have something.

Can you get overtime? I had this job at a hotel cleaning rooms. The boss said we could get overtime, but when we turned in our hours he would erase hours from our time sheets. And he was the most lazy guy I've ever met. Some people said he and his wife were deeply in debt from charging up their credit cards on porno lines.

So, can you leave the building on your break? I could come meet you for lunch.

Sincerely,

Toadboy

Empty Buddha Girl gets work as a corporate janitor

1. Wipe down sinks in restrooms four times daily. "Tidiness" is the perception of clean.

2. Don't look other employees in the eye.

3. Keep janitorial equipment against the wall.

4. Be inconspicuous. No one should have to acknowledge you are there.

5. Work cheerfully.

6. Dedicate your work to the universe. It's not degrading if it helps you experience enlightenment.